“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”

1. Describe the Seattle Love Lab, the research behind the 7 Principles and how Dr. John Gottman predicts divorce.

2. Describe Love Maps, how they help to build knowledge about each partners inner world, and explain how to do the exercise.

3. Explain how to nurture Fondness and Admiration and why it is important.
4. Describe emotional bids for connection, how one may respond to bids and the importance of turning towards one another instead of away.

5. Explain why it is important to let one partner influence the other, and why it is especially important for a husband to accept his wife’s influence.
6. Describe the two types of marital conflict and explain the difference between them.

7. Explain softened startup, repair attempts, self soothing techniques and how to find compromise in order to solve solvable problems.

8. Describe how to cope with solvable problems.
9. Identify gridlocked problems, explain how to talk about Dreams-Within-Conflict, and describe how a couple can soothe each other

10. Describe how a couple can create shared meaning.
11. Relate a principle from this book and how it could be used to improve a non-romantic relationship such as a parent-child relationship.